ArchivesCategory: THOUGHTS

magi
means
magic

……….

Alma

……….

mom,
today I was
a unicorn

……….

she will always be
my
enhjørning

……….

enhjørning
means
unicorn
means
magi

p h o t o s D e b i T r e l o a r

dreaming
looking at Debi´s amazing photos

floating
in air

. . . . . . . . . . .

daydreaming
longing for a place south

barefoot
smell of the ocean
olive and fig trees
sun

my heart & soul
in harmoni and peace
just by the thought of it

I belive
one day
my life will be
by the
Meditaranien Sea

for now
Debi´s photos and my thoughts
has to do

- s i g h & l o v e -

kiss me
if I´m wrong
but
dinosaurs still exist
right?

L . O . V . E

Where do I start. How much should I reveal. Who am I. Where am I going.
So many questions. So many thoughts. This is me honestly.

I´v realised that the more publicity the blog and I get, the more I want to hide.
Maybe note hide is the right word, but more protect my self. It´s not a consciously decision, it´s more a insidious result. From just being me, Jeanette, with my own thoughts and ideas. Thoughts that is important for my way of living and what I believe in. To be a person who speaks, share my views, my beliefs and design. It sounds all so good, and in a way it is. My only problem is that I do not believe in right or wrong, I believe in the everlasting circle.

While writing this I see how hard it is to describe, but I hope you follow me.

I often find myself playing roles to fit in. Doing what I think others expect me to do. I think most of us do, now and then. Sometimes it is even necessary. But lately I´ve had the feeling of getting lost. That I let myself down, together with my inner belief. Like a rug being pulled under my feet. Not a good state of mind to be in. I´m used to show my strong side and have control, so telling you about my struggle is actually a bit hard. Even though I know it makes me more human.

The feeling; “I´m selling my soul” has come to my mind. Having sponsors on board together with the studio and advertisers on the blog. Why should that make it so different. Why should I not make money. Why do I feel guilty.

So I´m telling my self, I´m worth it
It´s work that I´m doing, hard work
My voice is powerful and I can do what I want!
It takes time to believe it

For a while I´ve been loosing my magic
But I´m on my way back
Giving myself the same advice as I gave my BYW students;
be you
be true
It´s the only way to be happy
to stand out

So, back to where I started
Where my heart is placed
Where I met my first readers
Where the joy and energy is put
Full of flaws and deficiencies
Human
Being me

four years ago
little Alma
saw her first glimpse of light

four years ago
again
love so strong
came to me

as a
soft
warm
gentle
wave

four years

I want to remember
each moment
capture them
in my heart
forever

four
a magic number

s m i l e & l o v e